Being a Voter is Annoying!

Well, I gotta say I've had yet another first in my list of experiences. Today marked the first time I voted (at 25, one would think I would have done so before). Even stranger, my first time was in a place foreign to me. I didn't even bother to vote back when I was living in Puerto Rico. And suddenly, Pennsylvania has somehow made me go "sure, why not?" I really don't dig too much into politics, but I've always wanted to vote for a president (since we can't back home for some reason).

But this post today isn't about the whole political game or whatnot. Rather, it's do vent on how annoying it is to be a voter in both Puerto Rico and Pennsylvania. I got some observations from both now that I can say I've seen how it works on both ends of the spectrum.

First off, political campaigns at home can only be described in two simple words: F*CKING LOUD! There's so much noise that it has to be considered bad for the environment. Why? Well, every single candidate and their mother (do they really?) go out in loud caravans (trying to find the right word, but it's like a little mini parade for each candidate) and block every single road imaginable while making the most irritating amounts of noise. Gotta say, I've been stuck in traffic quite a few times thanks to those guys, so it can get irritating when you mix a lot of hostile drivers with that.

Secondly, people back home see politics like Americans love the NFL or baseball. It's a sacred sport and has caused quite a bit of trouble. Picture it this way. I would obviously get the living daylights beat out of me in Boston if I'm caught wearing my Yankees jersey, same thing at home but this time it's a tale of Red vs Blue. You have no idea how many brawls have broken out just because people are on different sides.

I disagree with your political views, my good sir.

But mostly, it's all about the noise. And speaking of noise, that brings me to the other side of the spectrum, Pennsylvania. In here it's been nothing but silence. While there haven't been any parades, caravans, or any other word for it, there has been a sweet silence. However, that silence is all gone once you turn on the radio or the TV. Back home it's the same, but you still get the noise outside the house. At least in here I can avoid all those negative ads by just staying away from my TV. Gotta say, those ads have made me miss even the dumbest of commercials.

Boy, do those ads annoy the hell out of me! I mean, every five seconds there's an attack ad. At this point, all I can think are about how much more dirt do they need to dig on someone? And that's when I had a few ideas:

-"X Candidate has a dog, and dogs lead to communism. Don't let X take away your rights!"
-"Y Candidate hunts bald eagles for sport, and that means he hates America!"
-"X was once seen wearing a Germany jersey during the World Cup. He's a nazi!"
-"Y once said a curse word in the 5th grade! Do you want someone like that leading your country?"
-"If X wins the election, the world will be driven into total chaos!"
-"If Y wins the election, it will ignite World War III"

At the end of the day, my brain has had enough.

Seriously, it's like watching kids pick on each other at times. At first it's fun to watch, but then it just makes your brain send signals to shut down your whole body! So no matter on what part of the world, elections can be quite annoying. The only difference is where the noise is distributed. Some are noisier than others while others are downright nasty. Oh wait, that's everywhere.

Good thing I already voted and got that all out of my system. Now, I wonder what we will do with all those political signs once tomorrow comes? Perhaps we can build a boat with them? That would be fun.

Surprise, Surprise!

It seems that a bunch of people today were bombarding me with the same question over and over. "What's up with you and your ex?"

Simply put, nothing is. We resolved our issues quietly and are just hanging out as friends, like most people do. But apparently it's become quite a shock to many.

Now I know what Spiderman feels when Jameson tries to get any kind of story on him, even if false.

Side Effects

TodayI want to discuss 2 of the effects that happen when one becomes single. First, there's one thing people should know. When one gets off a relationship, they quickly get randomly selected by the universe to have one of these 2 side effects. They either get the "Bug-Zapper Effect" or the "Scarecrow Effect."

The Bug Zapper Effect makes you as attractive to the opposite sex as super bright lights are to flying insects, or as crappy vampire movies are attractive to emo kids and women. Without even trying, you attract people left and right without knowing why. However, none of these are successful as once they get too close, they get quickly zapped. I originally wanted to compare this effect to a bunch of flies surrounding horse crap, but it just wouldn't seem as proper to call it the "Horse Poop Effect" now wouldn't it?

And then there's the other one...the Scarecrow Effect. Upon becoming single, you share the very qualities of a scarecrow (except being made of hay and straw, that's just not cool) and somehow chase away all crows (members of the opposite sex in this case, but thankfully they don't crap on your wardrobe when they sit on your shoulders). You suddenly find yourself repelling them without knowing why. No matter the wardrobe you choose either, or the attitude you take. Once the universe has labeled you a scarecrow, you got very few that stay by your side. And if you're lucky to land a crow on you, then congrats...but by then you would be moved to a new farm since the old one was replaced for a convenience store.

So what's the moral of the story? Both side effects will mess with you, no matter who you are! And either way, we are all screwed. But once you identify which effect has chosen you, the better it is to work around it.

Dating and Warcraft

Ever get the feeling that life is somehow like an MMORPG, but without the fun elements that make it MMORPG? Perhaps.

Ever get the feeling dating can also feel like one of those games as well? Exactly.

Dating and Warcraft have their similarities...

You start out a lone player wandering around looking for a party member as usual. But let's say you go find a random player of the opposite sex (then why am I using WOW as an example? It's all just a bunch of dudes)...correction, character of the opposite sex (which is mostly just a very lonely man anyways, but I digress) decides to join your party. Either person invites and then the other accepts.

All seems good, right? You do a couple of quests together, perhaps add each other to friend lists. It's just like exchanging phone numbers and e-mails (or by the random case just looking up the person on facebook without having them remember who you are), only it's less effort. Moving on. If all goes well, they become a permanent member of your party.

Dating is quite similar. After a few dates, if all goes well, you got yourself a permanent member in your real life party (not the one with ballons or liquor). Only difference, this one is accompanied by love and effection (if it isn't then take your receipt to the nearest Relationships-R-Us and demand a refund...or an exchange).

You go out on adventures a lot (whether it's bowling or raiding a village), you start to create countless memories with each other, and the bond gets stronger. But also while you're there, remember she's also taking half the loot (it's just how it works somehow) and your experience is reduced (you somehow become a bit more clueless).

But there comes a time when that other person suddenly breaks from the group, battles you and one becomes incapacitated. The losing one will be in another realm (perhaps the down time one has when feeling sad about it) and has to go find their bodies in order to return.

But once we are back on our feet, we have a serious de-buff on us (perhaps this is why newly single people feel like they have lost their mojo). How long it lasts, is unknown, but it's really annoying.