Being a Voter is Annoying!

Well, I gotta say I've had yet another first in my list of experiences. Today marked the first time I voted (at 25, one would think I would have done so before). Even stranger, my first time was in a place foreign to me. I didn't even bother to vote back when I was living in Puerto Rico. And suddenly, Pennsylvania has somehow made me go "sure, why not?" I really don't dig too much into politics, but I've always wanted to vote for a president (since we can't back home for some reason).

But this post today isn't about the whole political game or whatnot. Rather, it's do vent on how annoying it is to be a voter in both Puerto Rico and Pennsylvania. I got some observations from both now that I can say I've seen how it works on both ends of the spectrum.

First off, political campaigns at home can only be described in two simple words: F*CKING LOUD! There's so much noise that it has to be considered bad for the environment. Why? Well, every single candidate and their mother (do they really?) go out in loud caravans (trying to find the right word, but it's like a little mini parade for each candidate) and block every single road imaginable while making the most irritating amounts of noise. Gotta say, I've been stuck in traffic quite a few times thanks to those guys, so it can get irritating when you mix a lot of hostile drivers with that.

Secondly, people back home see politics like Americans love the NFL or baseball. It's a sacred sport and has caused quite a bit of trouble. Picture it this way. I would obviously get the living daylights beat out of me in Boston if I'm caught wearing my Yankees jersey, same thing at home but this time it's a tale of Red vs Blue. You have no idea how many brawls have broken out just because people are on different sides.

I disagree with your political views, my good sir.

But mostly, it's all about the noise. And speaking of noise, that brings me to the other side of the spectrum, Pennsylvania. In here it's been nothing but silence. While there haven't been any parades, caravans, or any other word for it, there has been a sweet silence. However, that silence is all gone once you turn on the radio or the TV. Back home it's the same, but you still get the noise outside the house. At least in here I can avoid all those negative ads by just staying away from my TV. Gotta say, those ads have made me miss even the dumbest of commercials.

Boy, do those ads annoy the hell out of me! I mean, every five seconds there's an attack ad. At this point, all I can think are about how much more dirt do they need to dig on someone? And that's when I had a few ideas:

-"X Candidate has a dog, and dogs lead to communism. Don't let X take away your rights!"
-"Y Candidate hunts bald eagles for sport, and that means he hates America!"
-"X was once seen wearing a Germany jersey during the World Cup. He's a nazi!"
-"Y once said a curse word in the 5th grade! Do you want someone like that leading your country?"
-"If X wins the election, the world will be driven into total chaos!"
-"If Y wins the election, it will ignite World War III"

At the end of the day, my brain has had enough.

Seriously, it's like watching kids pick on each other at times. At first it's fun to watch, but then it just makes your brain send signals to shut down your whole body! So no matter on what part of the world, elections can be quite annoying. The only difference is where the noise is distributed. Some are noisier than others while others are downright nasty. Oh wait, that's everywhere.

Good thing I already voted and got that all out of my system. Now, I wonder what we will do with all those political signs once tomorrow comes? Perhaps we can build a boat with them? That would be fun.

Frankenstorm

Alright, so I finally manage to get back to this blog after a week's worth of recovery from the surgery (which sucks because all the pain kicks in late), suddenly to realize there's a super massive storm headed our way. Now, I'm no stranger to storms or hurricanes (being from the tropics might have something to do with it), but there's something about what they are calling a "Perfect Storm" that is causing some worry.

For one, I've never been through a so called perfect storm (despite witnessing hurricane Hugo and Georges in the early and mid 90's) and the thought of one outside my own tropical environment does worry me a bit. Secondly, there might be snow. Anybody who knows me knows that I cannot stand snow. So there's that. And thirdly, if it's a perfect storm, where the heck is George Clooney?

One thing that is tickling my funny bone through all this is the fact that they called it "Frankenstorm." We get it, it comes around during halloween. I would like to know who had the nerve to give it that name, because you know what? It works! It's a storm that comes during halloween! It's a crime not to call it anything other than Frankenstorm. So kudos to the person who came up with the title, because it's quite amusing.

It's alive!

But still, storms are nothing to be taken lightly. Take it from someone who knows a thing or two about them. So for my readers in the east coast (wait, I'm there too!) make sure to clean up your yards and everything, because chances are that your loose stuff will be sent out flying like a drunk missile doing its halloween walk of shame. Most of all, stay informed and don't panic.

I should be back to blogging in my normal capacity this week, especially since my side effects of the surgery are winding down. However, let's hope Frankenstorm doesn't prevent me from getting back again.

Times Have Changed

One of the most curious things about this year has somehow been the huge turn in my life. Just 9 months ago, I was living a completely different life. Yet, I knew it was all going to change once I finished college. Somehow, it feels like I'm a completely different person since then. It's amazing how much one can change in 9 months.

Change doesn't bring all the perks of regeneration, but oh well...

And I didn't see all that change until a few days ago, when it all truly hit me. First off, I noticed all the changes around me during my first trip back home for graduation. People were different somehow, but I just couldn't put my finger on it. And it wasn't until my second trip back home (just 2 short months after) that I truly noticed. Somehow, it's as if the world around me changed. And why wouldn't it? I moved away, and those around me have moved on. You wouldn't stick around once a party ends, right? No. People go elsewhere, probably to cure their hangover from the party.

But then a few days ago, it really sunk with me how much I've changed. I went back to Jersey to visit some old friends, and to see two of them before they left for England. It wasn't until I was there that I saw how much I have changed. First thing in my mind was, "holy crap, I was a real super nerd back in the day!"

This was pretty much us back in the day.

Now, this isn't a bad thing. However, it just shows how much a person can change. A few years back, I was still one of the nerdiest guys around (and a big dork), kind of shy and mostly clueless. And now I think I'm almost the opposite in a way. I'm somehow feeling less nerdy (can that be possible?) than before, but at least I managed to lose the shy guy thing. Yet, I'm still relatively clueless in many things, but I'm not as lost as before. It feels a bit strange to sort of come full circle.

Just a few months ago, I was so different. All these months of adapting to a new lifestyle has ironically made me a little skeptical, overly cautious, and very analytical now. Still don't know what the final result will be like, but it's pretty much the same old blend with a few different flavors.

I'm starting to feel like Pepsi, going through so many different versions (yes, even Crystal Pepsi at one point) to a point where it feels never ending.

Bad Habits You Don't Notice

During my final semester of college, Ace came up to me regarding a particular observation he and Freddy (mutual friend of ours) did regarding one of my bad habits. However, he refused to tell me what the bad habit was. According to them, they would only tell me what it was once I figured it out. So of course, it drove me to a pit of self-analysis. And let me tell you, it wasn't the best one.

I quickly looked inside to try and find every quirky thing I did that others might consider odd (because of course, I'm a bit strange at times). I quickly went into my strange ticks or actions, from the itchy noses during allergy season, to the excessive blinking during constant stress.

And yet, Ace kept denying any of my guesses were right. I basically had to beg him to tell me what my bad habit was. He told me that I take something funny and just ram it to the ground due to my constant repetition of the joke.

I was, but too much of a good thing turned it sour.

And that's when I realized, I'm one of those guys! You know the one. The person who keeps using the same joke over and over until it basically outlives it's usefulness in about a week's time. You know those comedians that use the same joke in every act and then bore you? I was that guy, but when I saw something that made us laugh.

Suddenly, I wanted to try and forget every joke I still found funny. Take them to the toilet and flush them like that goldfish you forgot to feed when you were seven. So I had to dig deep to suddenly not become a joke killer. It actually hit me hard. Who knew I was butchering good jokes like that? At this pace, I could have opened up a store to sell the meat of the fresh jokes I had slaughtered (get it? Because it's meat...oh, never mind).

That's how my jokes were processed.

And after all that, I still find myself doing it from time to time. But this time, I know when to stop. That's right, I went through Humor Rehab. All the jokes, none of the excessive dosage.

The Spanish Invasion VS The Island Underdogs

Yesterday was quite the day to be a football (soccer) fan, at least for me and my fellow puerto ricans. Why? Well, for those who don't know, the Spanish football team (I will eventually have to say soccer because someone is bound to get confused) was coming over to the island for an international friendly game. For them, it was just another game. For us, it was a David vs Goliath kind of confrontation. The reigning World and Euro champions were coming to our yard, and it was quite the big deal.

Let's invade again, but with soccer! Come now!

Last week, I got to see all the hype upon my travels back to the island. Clearly, this was an event I knew I was gonna miss because of my own lack of foresight. But no matter what, I was still determined to watch it somehow.

So flash forward to less than 12 hours ago, and I'm finally watching the game. I was excited to see the game, especially since it was my first time seeing our own national soccer team in action. Of course, we were going to be overwhelmed by the Spanish team. They are, after all, the world champions. It's like watching Space Jam all over again, but a lot less animated and with a different sport. That, and the fact that we lost anyways. But it was a 2-1 loss, so it wasn't so bad.

We still fought bravely!

And the fact that we scored a goal against them seemed to piss off a lot of Spaniards. It's like going to a fancy event and suddenly knocking over the ice sculpture that kinda looks like a swan. It's going to make a lot of people gasp, but some are going to think it was pretty cool. That's what our goal was like. We were all celebrating how cool it was, but a whole different crowd was gasping at the indecency.

Sure, this whole debacle has spiraled out of control. I mean, how else does news about a soccer game turn into two countries talking smack to each other for all the wrong reasons? I guess we managed to ruffle some feathers with today's game.

Experience

Now that I'm back in the job hunt, I've once again seen a common denominator when it comes to seeking employment. "3-5 years experience required" is the one key thing I keep seeing. However, this brings me to a confusing crossroad...

How can we get 3-5 years of experience for that job if we can't find one that is willing to give us the experience? Do they have those first 3 years of experience available on CD-Rom at your local Office Depot? Maybe that's why people aren't getting those jobs, it's all the CD-Rom's fault for not being easily marketable. Then again, I doubt we can just get those years of experience by simply buying a product.

It's one of those cases where I just keep scratching my head as I scavenge for local jobs. And why do all the entry level jobs come from marketing firms? I guess that's just part of the curiosities of the job hunt. Entry level jobs are all personal sales, while the jobs you want require experience but don't wanna fork over those first 3-5 years.

Perhaps they should have universities give classes simply titled "Experience" and have it go from Experience 101 to Experience 301 to make sure we do get that minimum of 3 years experience. Experience in what, you ask? I don't know, but it shows here I took three years worth of experience in college!

Now where's my interview?

Road Signs

As I made my first drive across state lines, I wondered what the welcome sign for the next state would look like. As soon as I entered West Virginia, I was greeted with a big and colorful welcome sign. It was kinda hard to notice, but couldn't be appreciated due to the other sign that followed...an increase in the speed limit.

Now, I'm not a big fan of driving, but at least I can handle PA's 65 MPH limit just fine. As soon as I crossed the state, I felt like a broadcaster from the horse races was yelling in my ear "and they're off!" as I tried to increase the speed of the car. But at least the extravagant sign made my first state crossing feel a bit welcoming.

Too bad it wasn't the same once I was headed back into Pennsylvania. The welcome sign was hidden on one side of the road and really didn't call much attention. Really, PA? You want to welcome people into your state like a big nerd approaching a super model? I couldn't help but laugh at the contrast of signs, and yet, it all made sense a bit.

Being stuck in PA has been rather gloomy for a while, and my first trip into another state leaves a better impression just because it has a brighter welcome billboard. Let's hope Ohio isn't gloomy either, because that's where I might try next.

Heat Wave? What Heat Wave?

During these last few days, I've heard that the east coast has been getting quite the heat wave. Everywhere I go, people are complaining about the massive heat and sweating profusely. However, there's one thing I've noticed.

I haven't felt a damn thing. And that's curious, because I'm surrounded by sweaty people and here I am hardly breaking a sweat. Heck, I don't think even a drop of sweat appeared on my forehead. And that's when I got to thinking. Could I be immune to this heat wave because I'm from a tropical island? I know I'm used to high levels of heat, but they are also combined with high levels of humidity. So dry heat like this doesn't even come close to the sticky inferno of the tropics during a heat wave.

It's just warm outside. I don't know what you're talking about!

And if you haven't been on a tropical island, let me just be the first to say this, you are going to sweat more than an FBI interrogation (not that I would know). So then, it's no wonder that tropical boy (yours truly) isn't feeling a thing. I mean, I can feel the heat yet it doesn't phase me.

And when it comes to days like these, that's when I try to mess with people and psych them out. I can already handle higher levels of heat, so I can go out in a long sleeve shirt and have them wonder why. And to even add to their confusion, I can wear a light jacket in the middle of the day (if it's breezy of course, I'm trying to psych people out and not faint from dehydration) and just watch their eyes pop out in confusion.

Then again, these heat waves are good reminders to how much heat I can tolerate (as long as we take away the humidity). And so far, I'm not feeling a damn thing. Yes, it's hot outside, but not hot enough to make me sweat. So for now, I'm going to enjoy this nice sunny weather and hear people complain about it being too hot.

And come winter time, it's gonna be the complete opposite. And how could it not be? I'm basically an iguana living in a land of polar bears.

Paint me like one of your french girls.

How Am I? Potato!

These last few days, something's been itching away at my curiosity at work. Anybody who has ever gone into a store knows that employees normally start with a friendly greeting and ask how one is doing as a way to just start a conversation. Now, the part that has gotten me to scratch my head is when the customer replies "fine, how are you?" and then turn around and ditch you!

You just can't win there!

Either you care about my day or not, but don't fool me into thinking you might start a conversation! If you don't want to talk to me, just say "I'm fine" and go about your business. But asking me how I'm doing, only to walk away is just plain annoying and rather rude.

But I also thought I would have a little fun with this. So today at work, I devised a little plan. Whenever I greet a customer and was asked how I was doing, I would simply answer their question with a single word.

That's right, I would just reply potato.

I had a list of things I could have said to a customer to check if they were listening:
-Banana
-I would have mumbled random stuff (worked too)
-Speak Spanish
-Bacon
-Honkey Tonk!

And from that whole list, potato seemed like the right fit. So then, I waited until the first customer came in so I could try it. Hours later, I had already counted nearly 17 potato replies to customers. And from all those, only one took the cake as the best one of the day.

Me: How are you doing today?
Customer: Fine, how are you?
Me: Potato
Customer: That's good.

I was so baffled, that I decreed the experiment a success. Barely any customers will listen to what the salesman will say, no matter what. I guess that's just part of retail.

Polar Bears

During my many months here, I've been trying to understand the local culture (and a reason why I'm having trouble fitting in with the people here). And so, a fellow co-worker was able to explain a few things in detail.

First off, he explained why I'm having such a difficult time with the ladies. At first, I thought the ladies in America would be interested in foreign guys. After moving to PA, I have realized it's only in other parts of the states where most cultures mingle. And since I've located to a place where the melting pot is barely existent, I've learned that the ladies here tend to go for Polar Bears. To sum up what it means, polar bears are a term he used to define the bigger caucasian fellow. So if you're a big white guy, come into my town and you can have any lady you want!

Of course you do, you ladies man!

At least, that's how it was explained to me.

Out The Window

I've been observing the crowds at the mall from the inside of the store, and I'm starting to see something wrong with that image. Something is lacking. I was trying to put my finger on it. So I continued to see who crossed by and analyzed the data.

Time to investigate!

Let's see...we got:
-Black, asian, indian, white couples/families
-Redneck couples (inbred or not, who is to tell?)
-Extra large couples (or chunky lovers as I call them) and families
-Dogs
-A lost pigeon

And that's when I realized what was missing. Where the heck are all the hispanic people? I can't be the only one here! There have to be more of my kind here!

After noticing that pattern, I started feeling like I was on some kind of alien planet. Or perhaps, I'm the alien. The latter actually makes a lot of sense.

Well, I guess it's time to learn how to make my finger glow like E.T.

Just Browsing

If it's one thing I've learned about sales, it's that barely any customers ever enter the store with exact questions. And of course, it's normal to just want to see what you can find. So then, it produces that awkward response to the ever popular "can I help you today?"

"I'm just browsing."

That's all they say and just like that, they sorta push you away and it's off to leave them alone. And that's all well and good, but there's just one problem with that. The training videos showed all the customers way too polite, even when saying they are just browsing. If that training video was actually based on reality, we would have seen employees getting the occasional cold shoulder or the customer that just gets annoyed upon human contact.

If it were up to me, I would just say hello and let the customers do their thing. However, we have to keep asking the same question that causes the dreaded reply. Just looking.

The Healing Power Of Facebook

So these last couple of weeks, I have been noticing a lot of people posting specific things on Facebook. They were continuously posting things about how a "like" on that post will help save a life. Don't get me wrong, raising awareness of certain diseases isn't a bad thing. However, the people who believe by liking a post that it will actually be useful hasn't realized that there's no real money going into it.

 And that's when I find this picture. I actually got a kick from it, because it's a way to slap some reality into everyone. But it got me thinking as well. What if Facebook likes actually did have healing powers? Just think about it for a second.

I would post on Facebook that I'm suffering from severe allergies and that I need "likes" in order to feel better and get to work. And the more people liked my post, the better I would somehow magically feel. That would actually be quite awesome. But then again, it makes me wonder if we will also see pharmacies selling "Facebook likes" as an alternative to whatever medicine you want to buy.

We see random things everyday, but it makes you wonder.

Blog Challenge: The Advice Column

Taking on my second blog challenge, and this time around it's about what advice I would give fellow bloggers. So I figured I would take a small parenthesis from my regular stuff to probably "serious up"a little. So here's a few things that I follow and could find useful for sharing with others.

1. Not Every Post Is A Winner

In blogging, there will be posts that are better than others. That's only natural. Don't get discouraged if there are times when a particular post doesn't turn out as good as you hope. That's what the next post will be, a chance to improve. There will be good posts and there will be bad posts, but don't get discouraged. Keep doing what you do.

2. Appreciate Your Audience

Whether you have 35, 200, or 3 followers, don't take them for granted. Any audience is better than no audience, so take any audience as a good thing. People are reading your material, so where there's at least one follower, more will come.

3. Have Fun With It

Make sure you're enjoying every time you blog. It adds a bit of quality to your posts when you're enjoying it, rather then when you're doing it just to meet a deadline or something.

4. Accept Constructive Criticism

Happens to all of us. We all get criticized at some moment for something we do. But we can't let that get the best of us. And with constructive criticism should always be noted, no matter what. I had someone tell me I needed to work on my writing style a bit, so I did try to improve a bit upon it. Be ready to accept comments like these at all times, so keep an open mind with that.

I think that's mostly all I got. I will edit this post if I come up with other tips to give, but for now that's it. More posts soon.

Murphy's Law

For those who know me well, they already know how Murphy's Law is somehow the antagonist of my story. While many would claim to have an actual nemesis or rival, mine has just been that law for some reason. It's always happening, no matter what. Why couldn't I have an actual rival like in high school? But no, college had to introduce me to Murphy!

The month of January was mostly the latest example of how Murphy got the best of me. Tons of interviews for great jobs, I was a happy college graduate with a lot of charisma and energy. Yet, two failed interviews and one job offer later, my luck started to turn yet again. My rejection of a sales job fueled by commissions and no base salary was just the kick in the nuts Murphy needed to mess with me again. Thing is, Murphy has kicked me when I was down. Having left everything behind to start a new life, constructing my new life has been nothing short of a 500 piece puzzle from the pharmacy.

And yet, Murphy's Law has never been able to defeat me. It's shown up when all my relationships went south, when a long friendship was broken, during my last job, and all throughout college. And since his last visit in October of 2010, he's been gearing up for this storm. This time, it's hurting me in the professional gonads.

This is the closest comparison I can find to compare this rivalry.

This has been a struggle that's been going on for years, with neither side giving advantage to the other. So that's the tale with my life's antagonist, the very concept of Murphy's Law. "What can go wrong, will go wrong." Ever since I learned that essential law, I've been incorporating an extra level of caution to everything I do. I don't think it makes me paranoid or negative, but rather a cautious person who learns not to take things for granted. And that, is probably one of the biggest lessons I have ever learned.

Well, that, and the fact that Murphy's Law can be a real bitch at times. But like all antagonists, it's all part of the job description.

The Iguana Invasion

The other day I was checking up on news and saw an article that didn't bring anything new, but was still surprising. Growing up in Puerto Rico, it was no surprise to anybody that we all had an iguana problem. We knew they were becoming a plague, but that was just part of life. So how does this connect to the news? Simple. I keep a habit of checking the news from home, even now that I've moved to Pennsylvania. Gotta keep up to date. And then I saw the news that our iguana problem has somehow reached the States. Now this was curious, especially since I wanted to know how they were going to inform it.

And then I saw this clip attached to the news article:

My first reaction was to burst out into laughter. I absolutely love the emergency protocol for iguanas. But I also love the idea of taking the iguanas and selling them as a food. Not only can it help our economy, but it can also allow us to get creative with a select list of meals.

Just think:
-Iguana Burgers
-"Pasteles de Iguana"
-Iguana Kabobs
-Iguana on everything, actually...

Come at me, bro!

Perhaps now the iguana could have another predator besides the public transportation system. Well, any vehicle actually. Those are the only things that can take down those iguanas. Those things are huge! I mean, they can even stand up to a big dog! But still, those iguanas have always been a plague. But if the news has reached out here, then it's probably getting worse.

And no, don't imagine us walking on a place flooded with iguanas either. No need to exaggerate.

Valentines Aftermath

At the end of every Valentines Day, there's that long moment during the night where stories between friends are shared. And every year, there's a distinct variety of stories to share.

1. The Crazy Valentine

Let's face it, you did something incredibly crazy today and quickly had to tell your friend about it. We get it. You either discovered a new side of yourself, learned you could do something you never thought possible, or just had the most bizarre night of your life. The Crazy Valentine represents all those outrageous stories that we can either laugh about or have nightmares from while we suck our thumb in the fetal position. And which ever way you look at it, it was one crazy ride you won't soon forget.

2. The "Nothing Happened" Valentine

You probably had big plans for tonight, only to have them backfire. Your romantic night ended badly because your date yelled another person's name, or perhaps you say something so bad that they never want to see you again. Perhaps you realized your dinner gave your date food poisoning and ended up in the hospital instead. Either that, or you simply did something to make your date laugh at you. No matter what, you try to dodge the story when others ask because you know they will laugh at you forever.

Either that, or nothing really happened and it was just an overall pleasant evening.

3. The Lone Valentine

Stay at home watching TV and eat all the Valentines candy you gathered from the day. You are probably the one hearing the stories about the previous categories, and probably laughing at them either way. You realize how messed up everyone else is and you wonder why you sometimes put up with your crazy friends. You were alone because you either didn't have a date or were protesting the day because you denied you were alone. No matter how you put it, you saved yourself a lot of cash by just taking it easy and not going out. And whether you feel good, lonely, or just sleepy, you don't complain at the end of the day.

4. The "Picture Perfect" Valentine

A night so perfect, it seems like you ripped it straight out of a romantic movie. Yet, you get all the rewards. You have such a great night with your date, that others are simply amazed at how perfect it was. No mistakes, no bad consequences, nothing out of the ordinary. Your dinner was great, your gifts were perfect, and you even had a moment so romantic that it would make anybody vomit. Everything is all romantic and just missing a corporate sponsor to turn it into a jewelry commercial. However, if you're not careful and overdo it, it might just lead to either option 1 or 2. So beware. Other than that, it's picture perfect.

So no matter which of these four categories you see yourself in, there's always a story to tell right after Valentines Day. And don't try to deny it, because there's always a story to tell.

Zombie Friday

I really don't like partaking in any of these shopping days like today. I don't know how it is in the states, but over here it's just too much to handle. I woke up wondering how the sales went, and then I look at the news. Boy, was I embarrassed.

This was a video taken from the inside of a store this morning during the Black Friday sale. I just couldn't wrap my head around it, because it seemed so messed up. How can we be so crazy for just shopping? I'm starting to think we are going on a downward spiral where we are just going back to being just brutes.

But hold on, perhaps if we take a look outside the stores? Maybe it's not so bad, right? Maybe the insanity is just inside the stores.

This cop just gave an angry customer a jedi force push!

Oh dear, it's even worse outside.  It's like a riot! It's like a zombie apocalypse, but these zombies want to go shopping instead of eating brains. To think we would drop this low, it's just embarrassing. And I thought watching Jersey Shore was something to be ashamed of, but this is really just indescribable.

There's not a hand big enough to fit this kind of facepalm. Perhaps a good face to the desk would suffice. No? How about I take a hammer made of common sense and just smack humanity's face with it? I think that might seem like a fun idea, to be honest.

To think there's such a reason to go this insane over shopping. From now on, I'm changing the name of Black Friday. I'm going to call it Zombie Friday, since people just turn into crazy zombies in order to get stuff.

It's Zombie Friday! Time to go shopping!

See? That's what it looks like here! A bunch of zombies going crazy in a mall. Let's hope the next Zombie Friday isn't so barbaric. Hey, a guy can hope, can he?

Donuts and Undergarments

If it's one thing I have my learned from living in Puerto Rico it's this. People go apeshit over something they have never seen before. What do I mean by this? Let's take a trip back to last year. Krispy Kreme was going to be making it's local debut here. Once it was announced, people went crazy just to get a donut. As if we had never had a donut in our lives. What ever happened to the Dunkin Donuts we have all over the place, or the incredibly awesome yellow boxes of donuts we buy on the street?

Did we suddenly get some kind of amnesia fed by the excitement of consumerism? Probably, but since it comes from "Disney" (anything outside the island), then it has something special and magical.

And last week, another epidemic struck with the opening of Victoria's Secret for the first time here. Now, this one just made my brain turn into mush. Underwear...people went crazy over it. Everywhere we go, it's the pink bags. It's as if people have never seen underwear all of a sudden. What the hell is wrong here? Perhaps Victoria will let us know what her secret is, I'm not sure. It's like the Britto craze all over again, only now they are combined.

If we get a Barnes and Noble here, will people react as if they have never seen a book and go read? Perhaps that's the one thing we need, because it looks like we are getting dumber with every new store coming from overseas. We definitely have seen donuts before, and we have certainly gone shopping for undergarments before as well.

Sometimes, I just don't know why we do this.

A Bro Understands

You ever have that one friend that ditches you for a lady friend when you made previous plans? Ever feel like ripping him a new one with an onslaught of jokes that will let him know how you feel? Well, before you do that, remember one thing...

A bro understands!

Why? Simply because we have all done this ourselves. I mean, come on! Trying to decide between hanging with a bro or a lady friend is like having to choose between a unicorn and a dog. A dog may be your best friend, but come on, it's a freaking unicorn there! That's gotta mean something!

(Writer's note: Unicorns are manly. Anybody saying otherwise has to deal with Batman!)

Our bros are always going to be there, no matter what. The good times and the bad, he's always there to help out and make a bad day seem good. So it's alright if we cut them some slack every once in a while if they ditch us for a lady friend, especially if he's mad in love.

However, note that this doesn't apply to when a bro has a girlfriend. When it's a girlfriend, a bro encourages one to be with her. They can wait a bit to hang out. There's always time, especially when one needs a breather or time to unwind from all the relationship drama. Other than this, no exceptions!

So the next time there's a friend canceling plans or ditching you because he's spending some time with a special lady, make sure to cut him some slack. That way, you can come up with ways of ripping him a new one when they're done. That way, everybody wins!