Frankenstorm

Alright, so I finally manage to get back to this blog after a week's worth of recovery from the surgery (which sucks because all the pain kicks in late), suddenly to realize there's a super massive storm headed our way. Now, I'm no stranger to storms or hurricanes (being from the tropics might have something to do with it), but there's something about what they are calling a "Perfect Storm" that is causing some worry.

For one, I've never been through a so called perfect storm (despite witnessing hurricane Hugo and Georges in the early and mid 90's) and the thought of one outside my own tropical environment does worry me a bit. Secondly, there might be snow. Anybody who knows me knows that I cannot stand snow. So there's that. And thirdly, if it's a perfect storm, where the heck is George Clooney?

One thing that is tickling my funny bone through all this is the fact that they called it "Frankenstorm." We get it, it comes around during halloween. I would like to know who had the nerve to give it that name, because you know what? It works! It's a storm that comes during halloween! It's a crime not to call it anything other than Frankenstorm. So kudos to the person who came up with the title, because it's quite amusing.

It's alive!

But still, storms are nothing to be taken lightly. Take it from someone who knows a thing or two about them. So for my readers in the east coast (wait, I'm there too!) make sure to clean up your yards and everything, because chances are that your loose stuff will be sent out flying like a drunk missile doing its halloween walk of shame. Most of all, stay informed and don't panic.

I should be back to blogging in my normal capacity this week, especially since my side effects of the surgery are winding down. However, let's hope Frankenstorm doesn't prevent me from getting back again.

Bad Wisdom

Oral deuchebags, these wisdom teeth are.

That's right, it's that kind of wisdom. Tomorrow will be my turn to get my wisdom teeth removed. I swear, those little suckers are like ninjas. You don't know they are there, but suddenly they sneak up on you and kick your ass. Lucky for me, they are still just lying in wait, but I was advised to get them removed before they strike.

It's kind of funny when I think of it. Teeth that somehow go rogue and just want to mess with the rest. I keep thinking of the class clown when it comes to this. They joke around and get a pass, but there comes a time when they need to get knocked out. So I'm just happy I'm gonna shut the clown up before he pulls out a prank (and why did I just assume my wisdom teeth were all male?).

The one thing I'm not looking forward to is looking like a chipmunk. I was told I would look a bit swollen after the procedure, so I just hope I don't look like I'm packing nuts in my mouth. Yes, take your time laughing if you found my comment to somehow be wrong. Are you done? Good. Don't worry, I laughed too when I found myself saying it too.

You just turned this into a ball joke. Feeling proud?

My Bed Is Alive!

During this entire week, I had tried to get up and write a bit. However, after the allergies I got at work (opening a new store for 3 days, so I gathered a ton of dust) were pulling me more and more towards my bed. I tried to fight it, but my bed just seemed to make itself a lot more comfortable.

It's like it knows! And when I'm sick, it knows even more. It just didn't let me go.

It's days like this that I'm glad to be feeling a lot better. But somehow, this bed has become a hard habit to break.

Bathroom Shenanigans

Ever notice how suddenly, bathrooms just got a whole lot weirder? It suddenly turned into a photo studio for people trying to take their own pictures and a bunch of other random things. So I got thinking, why not show a little example?

Lucky for me, a small scene from my upcoming movie shows just how random it may be.

And here's a little picture of the movie's progress.

Procrastinating For My Procrastination

I don't know why, but I've been feeling a bit lazy since getting back (yet again). Perhaps it might be since I'm juggling the once again job search with the editing of my new movie (which should have been done by now).

Then again, it's only been a few days since I last posted something. I feel like I might be going one level deeper to my procrastination. I'm now procrastinating at procrastination itself! While trying to decide what to do, I've derailed and dozed off while trying to doze off about the very thing I was trying to do in the first place.

My brain just got dizzy trying to process two levels of procrastination!

It kinda feels like the movie Inception, but involving a lot more laziness and less sleep than one would think.

But I think that for now, I'm going to dig deep into my memory and find something my dysfunctional friends have done to maybe turn it into a story. Can't be too hard, considering most of my friends are total goofballs (but not as much as I am).

Welcome To Gotham City!

Ever since I moved to the Pittsburgh area (about 30 minutes away from the city), I knew things were going to be interesting. However, it wasn't until a friend reminded me that Pittsburgh was one of the cities they used to inspire Gotham that I realized how awesome it might be. And once I saw the latest Batman movie, I had realized that I definitely live near Gotham.

I began to spot different places I recognized as the movie went on, slowly anticipating other known places. And then it really hit. For a brief moment, the university I had selected to do my Master's Degree appeared for a brief moment (even though it was covered up by explosions and such). So many places I had previously been at, suddenly all getting blown up or wrecked.

This is actually the first time since Pirates of the Caribbean where I can tell they are in our backyard.

However, if I ever did live in New York, I would freak out from time to time given the constant destruction it faces in works of fiction. Then again, I would get to film Spider-Man doing his thing. Not so bad, I guess.

But for now, I guess I'm going to see how my experiences in Gotham City go about. I keep wondering if one day I will be sitting in class, only to look out the window and find Batman looking down on the city.

Experience

Now that I'm back in the job hunt, I've once again seen a common denominator when it comes to seeking employment. "3-5 years experience required" is the one key thing I keep seeing. However, this brings me to a confusing crossroad...

How can we get 3-5 years of experience for that job if we can't find one that is willing to give us the experience? Do they have those first 3 years of experience available on CD-Rom at your local Office Depot? Maybe that's why people aren't getting those jobs, it's all the CD-Rom's fault for not being easily marketable. Then again, I doubt we can just get those years of experience by simply buying a product.

It's one of those cases where I just keep scratching my head as I scavenge for local jobs. And why do all the entry level jobs come from marketing firms? I guess that's just part of the curiosities of the job hunt. Entry level jobs are all personal sales, while the jobs you want require experience but don't wanna fork over those first 3-5 years.

Perhaps they should have universities give classes simply titled "Experience" and have it go from Experience 101 to Experience 301 to make sure we do get that minimum of 3 years experience. Experience in what, you ask? I don't know, but it shows here I took three years worth of experience in college!

Now where's my interview?

Road Signs

As I made my first drive across state lines, I wondered what the welcome sign for the next state would look like. As soon as I entered West Virginia, I was greeted with a big and colorful welcome sign. It was kinda hard to notice, but couldn't be appreciated due to the other sign that followed...an increase in the speed limit.

Now, I'm not a big fan of driving, but at least I can handle PA's 65 MPH limit just fine. As soon as I crossed the state, I felt like a broadcaster from the horse races was yelling in my ear "and they're off!" as I tried to increase the speed of the car. But at least the extravagant sign made my first state crossing feel a bit welcoming.

Too bad it wasn't the same once I was headed back into Pennsylvania. The welcome sign was hidden on one side of the road and really didn't call much attention. Really, PA? You want to welcome people into your state like a big nerd approaching a super model? I couldn't help but laugh at the contrast of signs, and yet, it all made sense a bit.

Being stuck in PA has been rather gloomy for a while, and my first trip into another state leaves a better impression just because it has a brighter welcome billboard. Let's hope Ohio isn't gloomy either, because that's where I might try next.

Daydreams

Have you ever found yourself drifting off and daydreaming at the most inopportune time? Do you lose focus during an important speech, during a test, at work, while you walk, while you try to drift off into another daydream, or while trying to save the universe from the forces of evil? This pretty much happens to all of us, so it's not unusual to look at the person next to you and have them staring at the stars.

I guess it's just the mind trying to take a quick snooze, even if it's at the most inconvenient time. And speaking of daydreams, here's a short film I made (a long time ago) about daydreams.

Digital Diagnosis

Some time last year, I decided to foolishly check WebMD to check information on something that was happening to me. Earlier that day I had either some hot chocolate or some kind of soup, either way, it was hot liquid. That first gulp burned my tongue a bit, something I'm quite familiar with. I'm clumsy, it happens.

And for some reason, that day was the first time I decided to really pay attention to what my burnt tongue looked like in the mirror. And what happens when you combine paranoia and curiosity? I don't know, but don't go looking for it on WebMD.

I checked all the symptoms, and of course, they all seemed like terrible diseases. Needless to say, I couldn't sleep that night for two obvious reasons. One, the feel of my burnt tongue became so obvious it was distracting for once. And secondly, the paranoia instilled in me would not let me sleep due to the fear of having a few bumps on the tongue being related to a form of cancer.

Eventually, reality kicked in and I felt rather foolish for even attempting to find out what I was going through. Turns out, WebMD and paranoia can turn a simple thing into a giant disaster. It's one of those things you put in the category of things that shouldn't get mixed together along with texting and driving,  or chocolate milk and pizza. They just don't go well together.

So next time you feel a bit funky and want to check online what you might be feeling, make sure to stop right there because you might be saying goodbye to common sense and hello to the loony bin.

Flags and Fireworks

Having been raised in a territory, I don't believe we have given much importance to July 4th. For us, it's been mostly a day off from work, a day at the beach with friends, or just a day to sleep. So it was kind of curious to see how it was going to be on the other side of the fence. And even though I spent some time living in the states before, it's just now that I actually did some observation.

I spent most of my day at work, so I got to see some really silly stuff. First of all, people went a little crazy with some of their outfits. I understand you want to wear a t-shirt with the flag, a bandana, or even a dress with the stars and stripes, that's all fine. However, if you wear a jacket with the flag on it, you will always make me think of the time Borat sang the anthem. I'm sorry, but it just looks ridiculous when you wear it. Stick to a hat that has the flag or something instead.

You look silly, bro! Just stick to the t-shirt.

Also something I've noticed is people here tend to get carried away sometimes with the number of flags they have on their lawn. Are they somehow playing Minesweeper with that many American flags? Perhaps someone there is trying to impress a fellow patriot down the street. And if they did hook up, just thinking on the patriotic roleplay they would do only takes an intimate moment and would turn it into the strangest thing ever. Trust me, nobody wants to see a couple dress up as Abe Lincoln and the Statue Of Liberty as they try to get down and freaky.
I don't know, but that's why I'm assuming they have so many flags on the lawn. Perhaps the Minesweeper idea is most logical here. At least, I hope it's that.

Please, let it be just that.

And as I await the sun to set so I can see some fireworks, it makes me think. Holy crap! This holiday seems bigger than Christmas, New Years, the release of a Twilight movie (only for confused teenagers), and bacon all combined! And you gotta admit, it's hard to beat bacon!
So happy 4th to everyone out there! Have some fun out there. Hope you enjoyed this strange trip through my mind. It's amazing what random things I can think about during a 9-hour shift. Oh well, on to see the fireworks.

Bad Luck

All those people who know me well can tell you that out of all my attributes, one of them has to be unlucky. Somewhere along the way, Murphy's Law decided to be my own personal companion and just strikes me whenever it sees fit. And it doesn't matter how, but my string of bad luck continues.

So far, my latest string of bad luck has been in the social world. Trying from all angles but failing to make friends in my area (gave up after 6 months) and not finding a single one. Now, my bad luck branches out to something a bit more trivial, but it's something that still hurts. I wanted to make a trip back home (which I can currently afford) to watch a big soccer game, but the tickets are way more expensive than I thought. Bad luck would have it that they barely had any cheap seats and everything else is nearly from $200 and above. Why is this bad luck for me? Well, I wanted to take someone to the game with me.

And that person seems to be the only other person as unlucky as I am, or just really clumsy. While we did separate last year, Linda and I still keep in touch quite often. And while I wish she were here, it can't happen. And with my trip, I wanted to take her to the game but now it's too expensive. Now I won't be able to. Looks like there can't be too much bad luck concentrated into one place.

And then again, we also developed a theory as to why we have so much bad luck. One of the theories I told her was that in either some alternate universe or alternate future, we have a son with our combined levels of bad luck. And that boy was known across the world as Bad Luck Brian.

That's my boy! Well...could be

With parents this unlucky, it might make some sense. I told Linda this theory and she seems to be on board with that explanation that Brian is our son from an alternate future. His father is constantly taunted by Murphy's Law, while his mother is also shares some of that bad luck and clumsiness. Mix that together and you get the unluckiest character in all the internet.

Then again, perhaps recognizing this theory has brought more bad luck between us and caused Brian's own existence to be prevented. This is why we can't have nice things.

I like nice things.

Heat Wave? What Heat Wave?

During these last few days, I've heard that the east coast has been getting quite the heat wave. Everywhere I go, people are complaining about the massive heat and sweating profusely. However, there's one thing I've noticed.

I haven't felt a damn thing. And that's curious, because I'm surrounded by sweaty people and here I am hardly breaking a sweat. Heck, I don't think even a drop of sweat appeared on my forehead. And that's when I got to thinking. Could I be immune to this heat wave because I'm from a tropical island? I know I'm used to high levels of heat, but they are also combined with high levels of humidity. So dry heat like this doesn't even come close to the sticky inferno of the tropics during a heat wave.

It's just warm outside. I don't know what you're talking about!

And if you haven't been on a tropical island, let me just be the first to say this, you are going to sweat more than an FBI interrogation (not that I would know). So then, it's no wonder that tropical boy (yours truly) isn't feeling a thing. I mean, I can feel the heat yet it doesn't phase me.

And when it comes to days like these, that's when I try to mess with people and psych them out. I can already handle higher levels of heat, so I can go out in a long sleeve shirt and have them wonder why. And to even add to their confusion, I can wear a light jacket in the middle of the day (if it's breezy of course, I'm trying to psych people out and not faint from dehydration) and just watch their eyes pop out in confusion.

Then again, these heat waves are good reminders to how much heat I can tolerate (as long as we take away the humidity). And so far, I'm not feeling a damn thing. Yes, it's hot outside, but not hot enough to make me sweat. So for now, I'm going to enjoy this nice sunny weather and hear people complain about it being too hot.

And come winter time, it's gonna be the complete opposite. And how could it not be? I'm basically an iguana living in a land of polar bears.

Paint me like one of your french girls.

Rooster's Banjo

This place is so country and full of rednecks, that I'm already wondering if it affects more than just humans. For example, we all know how a rooster will sing as the sun rises. However, in here I'm starting to suspect it might be a bit different.

I wake up and look out the window to see a rooster getting ready to sing. However, once the sun rises, it brings out a banjo and starts to play. No singing, just a banjo playing rooster.

It's morning, bitch! Listen to my banjo!

Perhaps I'm starting to lose it already...

Thinking of banjo playing roosters and whatnot. I need a vacation.

Walk The Kid

I was sitting at the train station one day, just waiting for the bus to take me home. And before I dozed off, I noticed a woman and her child exiting the station. The child was on a leash. Only one thing came to mind after seeing them.

"Is she taking the kid out for a poop?"

I don't know why, but that's the first thing that came to mind. Walk your kid like you walk the dog. For some reason, I just imagined the kid squatting down next to a tree at the station entrance.

I saw them come back a few minutes later to get a snack from the store. I guess he must have been a good boy.

The Geek Problems

I'm realizing that now more than ever, it's gonna be harder to make friends in my area. With Diablo 3 out, all potential friends with geek tendencies are gonna be locked away with their computers for the foreseeable future.

Potential friends, neutralized by Diablo 3!

So then I thought, perhaps if I find out when Comic Con comes to Pittsburgh, I can go and make some friends there. Sounds like a good plan, right? Well, it would have been...had I not found out it took place about 3 weeks ago.

And I got to miss Stan Lee.

A little part of me died inside because of that.

The Road Ahead

All my life I have heard that college is the best time of your life. And it isn't until now that I understand why. As I approach my graduation (even though I technically graduated a few months ago), I am realizing how much I miss college.

Things were easier then. Now that I've finished, everything seems to be on the other side of a burning lava pit. Friends, jobs, and happiness all seem to be out of reach. No wonder people drink like crazy after they graduate. They know it's only downhill from here.

And if the road ahead is just down hill, then let me just let go of the brakes and go full speed yelling "weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Stand-Up Comic

Ever since I discovered my funny bone in college, I have been hearing from a lot of people that I should do comedy. While it's a very tempting thing to do, I'm not sure I can just go into an open mic night and kill. I mean, I've had some good comic influences growing up (Jim Carrey, Robin Williams, John Leguizamo, Eddie Murphy, Adam Sandler, to name the biggest ones), but I've always found one big problem when it comes to being a stand-up comic.

I'm afraid I would forget my own comedy routine the minute I enter the stage.

This is mostly because my comedy routines are just improvised. But when I get a good enough topic or story, I'm on a roll. This is why I've transfered my comedy to the written forms, to at least have a way to get my routines and stories out there. And if I ever did want to get on stage and perform, then perhaps now I should have enough content.

And with all of that, I still find myself getting cold feet. With this year being a rough one, I'm tempted more and more to giving the stand-up comedian thing a try. After all, it's the only thing I haven't tried yet. And since I know I'm gonna forget my material on state, I'm gonna use that as an opening joke for my comedic persona.

I can imagine it now, walking up on stage and suddenly looking nervous. I would start out with something like this:

"Well, this sucks. I can't believe I just forgot my whole routine for tonight. And even though this was free, I get the feeling some of you are already wanting your money back."

I dunno, perhaps something along those lines. I guess this might be the year I give it a shot.

Sliced Bread

The other day, I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep and a random thought came to mind. Whose idea was it to say "something is the greatest thing since sliced bread?" Out of all the things in all of humanity you can take, why sliced bread?

I'm the best thing in the world, and I don't know why!

Perhaps it holds powers I'm not aware of. Of course! It's probably gotta be its ability to hold cheese, meats, and other things together into the sandwich. But then again, not all sandwiches are with sliced bread. So there's probably more to it.

However, sliced bread has got some nerve thinking it's the single greatest thing in all of existence. I'm guessing fire, the wheel, or even air didn't get the memo. None of those things matter, just as long as we got sliced bread.

Gotta give it up to sliced bread. I don't know what shenanigans it did in order to achieve this prestigious title, but perhaps humanity isn't ready for the answer.

Just Browsing

If it's one thing I've learned about sales, it's that barely any customers ever enter the store with exact questions. And of course, it's normal to just want to see what you can find. So then, it produces that awkward response to the ever popular "can I help you today?"

"I'm just browsing."

That's all they say and just like that, they sorta push you away and it's off to leave them alone. And that's all well and good, but there's just one problem with that. The training videos showed all the customers way too polite, even when saying they are just browsing. If that training video was actually based on reality, we would have seen employees getting the occasional cold shoulder or the customer that just gets annoyed upon human contact.

If it were up to me, I would just say hello and let the customers do their thing. However, we have to keep asking the same question that causes the dreaded reply. Just looking.