Awkward Surprises

It was the start of June, and I was coming home from the university in New Jersey. I was looking forward to a month away from college, away from work, away from life. How good it would be to return to my home in Puerto Rico to find a good “welcome back” from my friends whom I so missed during my break. Well, after a getting that long deserved vacation, I was in for a fun day at the expense of my confusion and probably a portion of my mind. How could a birthday surprise cause confusion you ask? Well, I blame irony and all elements of ironic humor for it, so damn you and all your cursed elements of irony.

Oh yes, on with the story.

I had just met with my best friend Andres and his girlfriend Mari to celebrate his birthday. We had started early just the three of us just because we wanted something fun (not saying that my other friends are boring, but wait till the story develops, my dear impatient and oh so curious reader) and simple, so we went out to eat at Friday’s. Of course, I asked my life-long friend Michelle to join us, in which of course she tagged along. This was the first step into making my mind drive into confusion, but that detail is saved for later. This story is about the party, not the lunch I had.

I had decided the previous week to surprise my friends by telling them I was going to show up on the 6^th of June, but really arriving on the 4^th. I was somehow going to surprise them during the party and then be welcomed back by my close friends. That was my plan. Now, the plan is always essential. Yes, I may be a bad planner, but this was so simple that even the student who asks the stupid questions in class would understand, I hope. All was set; I was going to give my friends a good surprise. And yet, there was a slight change.

“What if I go with Michelle to pick up Jay (a close friend I had since elementary school we invited who also didn’t expect me there) while you guys distract the rest of the group?” I asked.

“But what about when you get to Alex’s house?” Andres added. “We are all going to meet in his house, yet he doesn’t know you are here either.”

“Easy, we will go to his house early. I believe he won’t be too surprised anyways, so the surprise element on him won’t work.”

“That could indeed work,” he said, “but Frankie, you have bad direction skills. Are you sure you won’t end up on the other side of the world if you guide everyone there?”

I let out a slight laugh. “Come on. This is Alex’s house! We all know how to get there, that’s the beauty of it. Even someone like me can get there on memory. This is something that even the student that asks…”

“We get it,” he interrupted, “student who asks stupid questions. We get it. Anyways, make sure not to get seen.”

“No problem, I got stealth skills.”

“Alright, just keep in touch in case anything happens.”

“So,” I interrupt, “will we have any code if we run into any trouble?”

“Don’t really know,” he said, looking confused.

“I got it!” I yelled in surprise and enlightenment. “If we run into any trouble, the code is ‘the blue grass rises at dawn,’ its great!”

Andres looked confused as ever, but agreed to my silly code. He knew it would catch on and that everyone liked it. You know you liked it too.

And just like that, it was off to Jay’s house to give him the first surprise. Oh yes, we paid the food at the restaurant. We didn’t just literally go without paying, that’s rude.

So off to Jay’s house we were. I had given Michelle the brilliant idea that I hide in her trunk (of the car, of course) and quietly await until it was time to jump out. I was going to surprise him, like a cougar!

I stayed as quiet as possible (hard to do, I know) and waited patiently as the car came to a halt.

“Hey,” said Jay as he approached the car.

“Hey, I left my backpack in the trunk. Could you get it out for me?” she said.

The light entered the trunk (of the car, again) and Jay appeared, waiting to go search for the item. But before he could start looking, I jumped out screaming at the top of my lungs. For once in my life, I was able to surprise someone.

Boy, did he jump. He jumped back as if he were a 5 year-old who’s still scared of clowns. It was hilarious. He looked back at me and gave me a hug, but hit me in the back as he did. Maybe it was for scaring me, or simply for fun. But I was happy, because this meant that if one friend was surprised and happy to see me, then so should the others.

And so, after a few minutes of laughter and greetings, we were on our way. We had a straight mission, get to Alex’s house before Andres and the rest of the guys did. I knew this was going to be possible, because he normally picked them all up. However, the blue grass was indeed going to rise at dawn. We had forgotten that Tito was driving that day, along with his girlfriend Ana. What did I tell you? Unexpected actions can make for one hell of a day. Anyways, moving on, things were going in a different direction.

We were just about to enter Alex’s house, when I got the call from Andres. I had gotten the signal, the code words were spoken. I knew I had little time left, but still enough to hide. However, this left a new gap in the plan. I had to reveal myself already. However, Alex wouldn’t be the kind of friend to jump in excitement to see an old friend. He still is a friend, just one of those friends you don’t see as often as the closer ones, but moving on.

After having shown Alex that I have arrived, I had a brief moment to figure out the situation. Where was I going to hide? How will everyone react when they see Michelle and Jay waiting? Why the heck was I asking myself so many questions when I knew that everyone else was just one block away? Where was I going to hide? That’s then I had a moment of clarity, the light bulb turned on.

The tree in the far back of the yard was the perfect place to hide. Of course, considering they were already entering the front door, I had to be content with hiding behind a nearby bush. That’s when I noticed all my other friends coming in. I sat in that bush waiting patiently, until I can surprise everyone. They never knew I was going to descend from a dark corner, like a bat!

As I sat there waiting, the plan for my “big” return was about to come into play. I was going to jump out from the bush and jump out to surprise them all (almost all of them). I quickly organized my thoughts before taking my big surprise into action. I was home, about to surprise the friends who constantly asked me when I was coming back. I was going to pull off the biggest surprise ever. Having told them I arrive two days after, they would never suspect me hiding behind the bushes. Nothing was going to take away my moment. This was it, and so, I jumped out from the bushes.

The shock in their eyes said it all. They all saw as I jumped out and shocked the world (or in this case, less then ten people). I could see my friends jumping from their seats and rushed over to welcome me back. Everyone came together to celebrate what became indeed a big birthday surprise. And then, we all sang happy birthday to Andres. It was indeed, a great moment.

Wrong! That’s not what happened. Shame on you for thinking it all went according to plan. Murphy’s Law is a bitch! Don’t ever forget it. When they say “what can go wrong, will go wrong” they seriously mean it. Damn you and your laws, Murphy!!!

I jumped out the bush with my rehearsed Broadway state jump, but nobody even noticed I was there. So I did what any person would do in this case, return behind the bush to do an even bigger jump (what is it with me and jumping behind bushes?). I patiently waited again as I tried to find the perfect silent moment to come out.

As I jumped out the bush yet again, I tripped on one of the roots of the plant. Therefore, I turned my graceful Broadway musical entrance into a loud yell and falling flat on my face. No worries, my friends would still be incredibly excited to see me. As I lifted my face from the ground, I saw a few of my friends were looking at what just became a half-assed entrance. “What are you doing here?” said one of my friends in a normal tone.

What the fudge just happened?

Did I just get a “what are you doing here” instead of a jumping surprise? I just wanted to answer one thing, “I’m trying to surprise you.” Why did I have to trip on that bush? Would the surprise have been better if I had not fallen on my face? Did I smell food? And why didn’t the coyote ever catch the road runner while he was sleeping? These were all questions that were bothering me at that oh so graceful moment of my return.

Nothing helped afterward. The rest of the day was odd, something wasn’t right. Murphy was really with me today, it messed everyone up it seems. Everyone was just really quiet that day. I thought they were all sleepy, or at most just tired. That is something as confusing as finding out how many licks it really takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

I sat there in the pool looking up at the sky, wondering what had happened today. How did all this bad luck begin? Why Murphy? Why did things suddenly take a twist for the confusing? And why does Baskin Robins have 31 flavors when all I see are fewer flavors? Where did they all go? Does any of this make sense? I sat there pondering why all these events have unfolded, and what led me to all this. Even though I could see Ana and the others coming towards us, all that came to my mind was the start of all this. None of that mattered now. I knew the surprise I went wrong. And even though they were coming towards me for whatever reason they might have had, I just had one thing in mind. How did this all bad luck begin?

That really made me think, since when has Murphy’s Law applied to me? That is an answer that started way too far for me to remember. But I did know one thing, that wasn’t the first time Murphy’s Law messed with me, and it sure wasn’t going to be the last.

So now that I look back on it, there have been times when Murphy’s Law screwed with me. And so, I begin to wonder how it began. This takes me back so far, all the way to my days before reaching high school. This is where my memories begin, my lessons of life.