Anger

Almost...

We all have different ways of dealing with anger. Some of us have different ways of coping with it, whether it be yelling in blind rage, punching a wall, holding it in, or taking it out on others. For me, it's still unclear how I'm sometimes able to deal with anger. But yesterday, I found out just how much I had forgotten to deal with it.

To put it lightly, I've had the worst day at work...ever! Now, I'm used to getting complained at all the time. However, yesterday's scoldings were to intense, they shook me to my very core. If I didn't know any better, I thought I was gonna get fired on the spot. That's how bad it seemed. And that's coming from someone who actually likes his job and works more than anybody else there (and sells more too).

So how did this anger come about? Easy. Messy store (as expected coming after a weekend), a lazy coworker who doesn't do a thing to help (can't clean the whole store by myself), me doing a few things with the paperwork that didn't apply to weekends (but still took the extra time to do it), and the same coworker throwing me under the bus and ratting out a joke we had going the previous day. Take all those things, mix them together and you get the ultimate recipe for disaster.

And what a disaster it was.

So of course, after being told I was basically a worthless piece of crap by my boss (general assumption) and punished (I no longer work on Saturdays, my most profitable day) for it, I had all this anger inside and wanted to explode. A little more, and I would have started to turn green and smash stuff. But then again, I didn't want to rip my nice clothes.

Right there I knew I had forgotten how to deal with anger. Unfortunately, I took it out on the poor wall by punching it a few times in my blind rage. Normally, I would punch a wall in anger and then feel the pain while realizing how big a mistake it was to do so, but this time it was different. I didn't flinch. This was some serious Bruce Banner stuff right there.

Despite all that, it was one of the few times my anger was about to take control. Normally, I would have enough patience to run an entire country's energy source that depended on patience itself. However, when push comes to shove, the walls break down. We all have problems with anger, especially when it comes hard. And for me, it broke down the wall with a rocket powered train.

Normally, this is true.

It's alright to feel angry. However, we can't let it control us...even if it kicks us in the balls.