Tuesday, March 1, 2011

The Friend Zone

If there's anything that seems more deadly than being locked in a cage with fire-breathing bears, it's being sent to the friend zone. We have all heard of it, while some of us have been sent there. Ever been just having casual conversation with a girl and suddenly you feel like a bus hit your soul? That's the friend zone acting up. Seriously, it's starting to turn into a super power of sorts.

And once you're there, you're stuck for life. There's barely anything you can do to get out. But here's a few things you can do:

1. Get comfy: The friend zone mostly lasts an entire lifetime. Once you are there, there's no way out. Get a sofa, put up a TV, maybe get a good computer and play Warcraft. It's like taking a one-way train ticket to nowhere.

2. Resistance is Futile: Do not try to persuade her into changing her mind, because it's been made up probably since your second conversation. I don't know what it is about the ladies, but they can even zone you just by looking at you. It's like walking into a bear trap, quick to strike and takes you by surprise...that is, unless you poke it with a stick and get caught out of sheer stupidity. So if someone zones you, accept your fate and move on. Besides, it's good to keep your dignity intact.

3. The Grass is Greener: Once in the friend zone, you will realize there are other prospects out there just waiting to zone your sorry ass at a later time. But once you get yourself back in the game, you will see the friend zone as a bench. Because after playing a good game, you get replaced at halftime because you just couldn't impress the coach.

4. Don't Go Insane: Simply put, just don't.

5. The Boomerang: A combination of numers 1 and 3, you will keep coming back into the friend zone so much, you might as well build a fort there.

Take it from a friend zone expert, these tips will keep you from going insane once you are zoned by someone. And that's knowing something, since I have been zoned dozens of times, that I can already see it coming.

A little knowledge goes a long way...especially if it will help you survive a horrible fate such as this.

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