What Are You Doing Here?

Have you ever run into someone you haven't seen in a while with a smile on your face, only to have it ruined when they say "what are you doing here?" I swear, it's the one thing that really drives me insane. I don't care who you are, that's not the way to greet someone.

What ever happened to "long time no see?"

So it got me thinking, there should be a right time when to ask the dreaded question. And here's a few things that came to mind...

Correct times to ask "What are you doing here?"

1. When someone interrupts during sex.

2. When someone you don't like crashes your party.

3. When a historical figure rises from the dead and you run into him/her on the subway.

4. When you get a truly unexpected visit.

5. When you see a colony of ants establishing base all over your yard.

I'm sure there are more, but these seem to be the most important ones.

So next time someone asks what you are doing there, either make a witty rebuttal like so...

Q: What are you doing here?

A: Waiting here for my bear cavalry so I can head to Russia for the weekend. You?

Either that, or state the obvious...

Q: What are you doing here?

A: Why, the same thing all others do when at the train station...waiting for Santa Claus!

Let's end this epidemic once and for all...