Last Minute Projects

Well, thanksgiving weekend is done. Now it's time to go back to our daily lives and return to college. But wait, something's wrong.

That final report you had to turn in tomorrow. Did you even start it?

No?

Alright! Last minute work it is!

But something very peculiar happens during these desperate times. Murphy's Law sticks it's ugly head just when the project is going underway.

So your printer gets a jam, it runs out of ink, or runs out of paper. The lights go out in your home. You're needed desperately for errands. The dog literally eats your homework (story for another day), or destroys your USB drive. Any of these can be a factor.

For me, this was a day where it all went a bit odd.

Start my morning to do a final project due the next day (like a boss, I may add). Almost finish, go out to deal with other assignment until nightfall. Get invited to Twilight and rightfully decline, but it's already over 9pm. I got in the car and drove, but it was way too dark. I missed my exit and ended up on the freeway going the opposite way. Eventually I made it back and found my way home, only to arrive and finish my assignment last minute.

Moral of the story is, if you're going to leave it for the last minute, at least make sure to do it in the morning.

Zombie Friday

I really don't like partaking in any of these shopping days like today. I don't know how it is in the states, but over here it's just too much to handle. I woke up wondering how the sales went, and then I look at the news. Boy, was I embarrassed.

This was a video taken from the inside of a store this morning during the Black Friday sale. I just couldn't wrap my head around it, because it seemed so messed up. How can we be so crazy for just shopping? I'm starting to think we are going on a downward spiral where we are just going back to being just brutes.

But hold on, perhaps if we take a look outside the stores? Maybe it's not so bad, right? Maybe the insanity is just inside the stores.

This cop just gave an angry customer a jedi force push!

Oh dear, it's even worse outside.  It's like a riot! It's like a zombie apocalypse, but these zombies want to go shopping instead of eating brains. To think we would drop this low, it's just embarrassing. And I thought watching Jersey Shore was something to be ashamed of, but this is really just indescribable.

There's not a hand big enough to fit this kind of facepalm. Perhaps a good face to the desk would suffice. No? How about I take a hammer made of common sense and just smack humanity's face with it? I think that might seem like a fun idea, to be honest.

To think there's such a reason to go this insane over shopping. From now on, I'm changing the name of Black Friday. I'm going to call it Zombie Friday, since people just turn into crazy zombies in order to get stuff.

It's Zombie Friday! Time to go shopping!

See? That's what it looks like here! A bunch of zombies going crazy in a mall. Let's hope the next Zombie Friday isn't so barbaric. Hey, a guy can hope, can he?

Playing Through It All

Don't know why, but this image represents a great deal of truth with me. Ever since my break-up, there's been this sudden interest in games all over again. Somehow, I'm playing more and more videogames and I never knew why. I know it wasn't boredom, since I normally just solve that in other ways.

Yet, the undying urge to play a whole lot of games stayed there. I tried so many games to pass the time, but I still wondered why. Perhaps it's how some of us cope with things. I want to think it's how our own mind protects us from going completely insane after unfortunate events. The mind truly is a powerful thing, forcing us to keep busy with other things so we don't have time to be sad.

All in all, the mind is like a good friend. There are there for you in hard times and keep you busy, but they also laugh at you if you do something completely stupid.

Now if you will excuse me, there's a now conscious urge for videogames calling.

Donuts and Undergarments

If it's one thing I have my learned from living in Puerto Rico it's this. People go apeshit over something they have never seen before. What do I mean by this? Let's take a trip back to last year. Krispy Kreme was going to be making it's local debut here. Once it was announced, people went crazy just to get a donut. As if we had never had a donut in our lives. What ever happened to the Dunkin Donuts we have all over the place, or the incredibly awesome yellow boxes of donuts we buy on the street?

Did we suddenly get some kind of amnesia fed by the excitement of consumerism? Probably, but since it comes from "Disney" (anything outside the island), then it has something special and magical.

And last week, another epidemic struck with the opening of Victoria's Secret for the first time here. Now, this one just made my brain turn into mush. Underwear...people went crazy over it. Everywhere we go, it's the pink bags. It's as if people have never seen underwear all of a sudden. What the hell is wrong here? Perhaps Victoria will let us know what her secret is, I'm not sure. It's like the Britto craze all over again, only now they are combined.

If we get a Barnes and Noble here, will people react as if they have never seen a book and go read? Perhaps that's the one thing we need, because it looks like we are getting dumber with every new store coming from overseas. We definitely have seen donuts before, and we have certainly gone shopping for undergarments before as well.

Sometimes, I just don't know why we do this.

A Bro Understands

You ever have that one friend that ditches you for a lady friend when you made previous plans? Ever feel like ripping him a new one with an onslaught of jokes that will let him know how you feel? Well, before you do that, remember one thing...

A bro understands!

Why? Simply because we have all done this ourselves. I mean, come on! Trying to decide between hanging with a bro or a lady friend is like having to choose between a unicorn and a dog. A dog may be your best friend, but come on, it's a freaking unicorn there! That's gotta mean something!

(Writer's note: Unicorns are manly. Anybody saying otherwise has to deal with Batman!)

Our bros are always going to be there, no matter what. The good times and the bad, he's always there to help out and make a bad day seem good. So it's alright if we cut them some slack every once in a while if they ditch us for a lady friend, especially if he's mad in love.

However, note that this doesn't apply to when a bro has a girlfriend. When it's a girlfriend, a bro encourages one to be with her. They can wait a bit to hang out. There's always time, especially when one needs a breather or time to unwind from all the relationship drama. Other than this, no exceptions!

So the next time there's a friend canceling plans or ditching you because he's spending some time with a special lady, make sure to cut him some slack. That way, you can come up with ways of ripping him a new one when they're done. That way, everybody wins!

Weekend Procrastination

No matter how tough the week may be, we somehow manage to work through it. But as soon as Friday hits, we somehow shut off all responsibility that could bother us during the weekend.

Friday:

We realize there's work to be done, so we slightly read over it or simply skim through what we have to do. However, the obligation of relaxing is too strong to resist. But no worries, you will work tomorrow.

Saturday:

Still with enough time to dedicate to work, you still feel like procrastinating is not a problem. You take advantage of the time and perhaps go out to a movie, geek out with friends, or just stay at home all day watching TV. Either way, you goof off knowing there's inevitable work in the future. So you spend as much time as you can enjoying the day, before it's too late.

Sunday:

You wake up earlier than expected because you know there's work to be done, but the bed has an incredible power over you. You take advantage of the morning hours to work, not because it's a convenient time, but because there's nobody that can possibly distract you on a Sunday morning when you get to work. And even if there could be, they are doing the same thing you are. You do as much as you can, until you realize you haven't eaten. Once you get away from the computer and goof off a bit, it's all downhill from there.

Monday:

*facepalm*

But don't worry, because next weekend it's the same story all over again. And to think that we would learn by now. Oh well...

11/11/11

Today's date had a lot of people thinking it was going to be a magical day. When I first heard this, I was seriously hoping someone actually showed up riding a unicorn dressed as Napoleon just to prove a point to today's "magical day" belief.

However, it was just another ordinary day. But that didn't change people from making those 11/11/11 wishes.

I for one, caught myself thinking about this wish fad that came through the day. I found myself wishing for success in finding work and my new life, but also couldn't help but try and wish for something strange just because I felt like I could.

However, it's funny how a simple day on the calendar can make everyone go bananas.

The Start of a New Journey

Ever felt like you're someone's afterthought? Like all of a sudden, you cease to exist and you weren't given the memo? You feel like you're the fart nobody wants to claim during a long trip?

Well, that's kind of the story with my recent break-up. After already going through a post break-up transition last week, I thought I was getting better. That is, until I see my ex, Linda, this week. Problem was, I reached out to her, but she didn't reach much back.

And that's when it started to get to me. Did I fall into a universe where she doesn't know who I am or something? If so, please send me the memo, because it's a bit late. Now I know what it felt to be the lone roman, looking into his beloved's eyes and seeing a blank stare of indifference. That, or the face of looking at a loved one you truly know, but having them look at you as if they never even met you.

Perhaps she's happy now that I'm gone. I try not to think of these things much, mostly because it sorta cramps my style. But overall, it makes this post break-up process last a whole lot more.

I know it's a bit off posting something so serious in a blog that's normally of a humorous tone, but it's times like these where a good friend tells me "just write, damnit!" and it makes me wonder. Sometimes we gotta just have a change of pace, even if it is for a bit.

I swear, if trying to reach out to your ex, even if it's just a short conversation, seems like an uphill battle then something's wrong. After sharing some really good memories together, one would think she could spare a few minutes to answer a text message or just talk for a few minutes. Nobody can just get thrown out like that and then forgotten.

I still can't see the number in here.

It's like a colorblind test for the colorblind, you have it right in your face but you don't quite see what's going on. However, sometimes you would rather now know the truth, even if it's eating away at your curiosity. My situation with my ex is just like that test. I see a whole bunch of dots I can't really analyze because I'm colorblind, but it eats away at me. Now I know what Cookie Monster felt like. Irresistible cookies in plain sight, gotta be a sucker not to eat those things.

All in all, it's these mysteries of life that sometimes makes our time of healing a lot longer than it should. There's no word to describe the feeling of how it feels when your ex gives you the cold shoulder and leaves you behind on such a short notice. One week, you are both happily in love. The next, you're just an afterthought.

Now I begin to start to feel sympathy for one of the characters in Doctor Who, since I understand her pain to lose a loved one with every visit. Makes me wonder, yet again, if I could have done something about it in the past to make things better.

Where to next?

But that's the irony of life. We don't quite see where we are going until we get there. And once our long journey has ended, we can't help but sit back and reflect on what just happened. It's kinda like a TBS rerun of an old comedy series, but only relevant.

All I can do now is just open the door in front of me and begin my new journey, no matter where it takes me.

Darwin's Theory Goes to the Club

Most people have already heard of Darwin's Theory of Evolution, right? Well, it's basically a statement about how the strongest survive and the weak perish. Those who are strong, adapt to all changes and therefore, evolve. Now then, what happens when we apply this theory to a dance club?

In order to answer that, we gotta go back to the summer of 2010.

We had organized a group to go to a local club, something I never do since I don't party. But it was a gathering with friends, so I knew it would be alright. That, and I had Amy with me, my girlfriend at the time, going with me so I knew it wasn't going to be dull.

I met up with Ace and the guys to joke around for most of the night, mixing it up between dancing with Amy and sharing some cake with the rest. However, at one moment of the night, things got curious. I noticed that Ace was walking around desperately, looking at his phone constantly as if he were waiting for something.

"What's up?" I ask him.

"Just waiting."

"For what?"

"THEM...Johnny said they were coming!"

So I quickly went to find Johnny, who was dancing with some ladies already. I asked him what Ace was waiting for, and he quickly let out a quick laugh.

"That's easy," he laughed. "He's waiting for the lesbians to arrive."

Suddenly, it all made sense. But at the same time, I smelled the competition brewing between Ace and Johnny. As they waited for the ladies to arrive, they started preparing for their dual conquest. All the while, I took Amy to dance.

Later that night, the ladies arrived and in an instant, the race was on. They quickly went towards Johnny, disregarding Ace completely. We started gathering up the other friends in a group and started to watch the theory of evolution unfold in front of us. We kinda turned into those sports commentators on ESPN, because we had the complete play-by-play of everything Ace did to catch up with Johnny.

The ladies surrounded Johnny and gave him some PG-13 style loving in front of us, leaving all of us with mouths open wide in what we witnessed. However, there was also Ace, trying to get in on the action. Trying from every angle, he failed to even get near any of the ladies. They simply brushed him off, while never letting go of Johnny.

At the end of the night, we ended up leaving. Ace was our ride home, but his conquest for lesbians took away our ride home. All the while, Johnny was having one crazy night in that dance floor.

On the way back, it made me think of Darwin's theory. Poor Ace, got left behind. It seems Johnny got the better of evolution that night.

The Night the Sky Exploded

I believe this was back in 2009, but this is a story that takes place in the very middle of the night. Normally, I'm the kind of person who goes to sleep extremely early. However, that was the night I turned nocturnal for most of it.

As I was sleeping soundly, I suddenly felt a door shut and dismissed it as just minor. Seconds later, my best friend, Ace, calls me at 1am yelling at the top of his lungs.

"What do you want?" I say as I'm waking up.

"It's the end of the world! There was this big explosion, and the sky is on fire!"

"If it were the end of the world, why the hell would you wake me up?" I replied.

"You got to believe me! There's this big ball of fire, and it's a mess everywhere. The sky is burning up!" he continued.

If I were awake, I would have noticed something was odd about this. Not because of the big fireball burning in the sky, but the fact that he was speaking clearly. For you see, my best friend stutters often when he speaks. His level of fear was so intense, he didn't stutter a single time. But sleepy me didn't notice it.

"Go look at the window," he said.

I stood up and walked towards it. "I will bet nobody is outside," I said as I opened the window.

"Odd..."

"What?" he said.

"There's people pointing at the sky."

I walked out of the house and stood in the middle of the street as I looked up at the sky, realizing there was a giant fireball up there.

"The sky is on fire. Who knew?" I said, oblivious to the situation. And right there, I woke up.

What I think my face looked like when I discovered the fireball.

That's when I realized what was going on. I quickly hung up on my friend to check up on everyone else and make sure they were fine. Not many answered, but my buddy Johnny did pick up.

"Go see the sky," I said.

"Why?"

"It's on fire! You gotta see this!"

"I don't believe you," he replied.

"Would I call you in the middle of the night to tell you the sky is on fire just to get some laughs? I'm serious."

He stepped out of the house, keeping silent for a few seconds. When all of a sudden I hear him taking a large gasp on the phone.

"I stayed behind!" he yelled, thinking he got left behind in the rapture.

"It's not the rapture, you fool," I said. "There's been an explosion and I'm just making sure everyone's fine."

The real cause of that night's "Armageddon."

He hung up as I heard him begin to yell in paranoia. Turns out, there was an explosion at an oil refinery nearby and the entire area woke up due to the massive blast. But of course, none of us knew that right away.

As for me, I spent the rest of the night calming both friends. Both thought it was the end of the world, and I had to convince them otherwise. What a night it was...