The Start of a New Journey

Ever felt like you're someone's afterthought? Like all of a sudden, you cease to exist and you weren't given the memo? You feel like you're the fart nobody wants to claim during a long trip?

Well, that's kind of the story with my recent break-up. After already going through a post break-up transition last week, I thought I was getting better. That is, until I see my ex, Linda, this week. Problem was, I reached out to her, but she didn't reach much back.

And that's when it started to get to me. Did I fall into a universe where she doesn't know who I am or something? If so, please send me the memo, because it's a bit late. Now I know what it felt to be the lone roman, looking into his beloved's eyes and seeing a blank stare of indifference. That, or the face of looking at a loved one you truly know, but having them look at you as if they never even met you.

Perhaps she's happy now that I'm gone. I try not to think of these things much, mostly because it sorta cramps my style. But overall, it makes this post break-up process last a whole lot more.

I know it's a bit off posting something so serious in a blog that's normally of a humorous tone, but it's times like these where a good friend tells me "just write, damnit!" and it makes me wonder. Sometimes we gotta just have a change of pace, even if it is for a bit.

I swear, if trying to reach out to your ex, even if it's just a short conversation, seems like an uphill battle then something's wrong. After sharing some really good memories together, one would think she could spare a few minutes to answer a text message or just talk for a few minutes. Nobody can just get thrown out like that and then forgotten.

I still can't see the number in here.

It's like a colorblind test for the colorblind, you have it right in your face but you don't quite see what's going on. However, sometimes you would rather now know the truth, even if it's eating away at your curiosity. My situation with my ex is just like that test. I see a whole bunch of dots I can't really analyze because I'm colorblind, but it eats away at me. Now I know what Cookie Monster felt like. Irresistible cookies in plain sight, gotta be a sucker not to eat those things.

All in all, it's these mysteries of life that sometimes makes our time of healing a lot longer than it should. There's no word to describe the feeling of how it feels when your ex gives you the cold shoulder and leaves you behind on such a short notice. One week, you are both happily in love. The next, you're just an afterthought.

Now I begin to start to feel sympathy for one of the characters in Doctor Who, since I understand her pain to lose a loved one with every visit. Makes me wonder, yet again, if I could have done something about it in the past to make things better.

Where to next?

But that's the irony of life. We don't quite see where we are going until we get there. And once our long journey has ended, we can't help but sit back and reflect on what just happened. It's kinda like a TBS rerun of an old comedy series, but only relevant.

All I can do now is just open the door in front of me and begin my new journey, no matter where it takes me.