Cake On A Pole

So where was I? Oh yes, Ace had just landed a date with a girl he just met (we just called her Cake, so I will do so here as well) and everything seemed to be going well. For once, it seemed a little too easy. And that's when I got the phone call.

"Dude, she has a boyfriend!"

"I knew it," I yelled. "I had a gut feeling."

"No, it's alright. She was about to dump him anyways, so I'm good to go!"

"You know this can't end well, right?"

But for some reason, everything was calm. That is, until a few weeks had passed. Ace and Cake were doing really well, so they decided to have me tag along on one of their dates (I was still a third wheel at this time, since it was a few months before meeting Amy). We stopped by her apartment to pick her up, when we started observing all the stuff she had around.

There was nothing to do, so what else were we gonna do?

Right away, I noticed a strange collection of colored wigs. So I had to ask Ace what was up with that.

"What are all those wigs for? Does she act or something?"

"Well, sort of."

I squinted my eyes, feeling there was more to this story. "What do you mean, sort of? What aren't you telling me?"

"Well," Ace hesitated, "she's a stripper."

She's a what?!?!?!?!?

"Of course. There had to be something off. There always is. Whether it's the good girl whose boyfriend beats you after church (true story), the crazy stalker who won't give up, or all those other crazy chicks, you can't seem to find a normal one again. I wouldn't be surprised if things got a bit strange just because she's a stripper. Heck, I wonder if her ex knew."

"He did. And he knows about us too," he said. "He's even come here a few times trying to break in and attack me."

"And you just bring that to a conversation just like that? So there's a lunatic who is out for revenge and he is after you? Even worse, he's out on the loose!"

"Don't worry about it. He has a restraining order. We are fine."

Just as we were about to finish the conversation, Cake entered the living room.

"So, what were you guys talking about?" she asked us.

We both smiled in silence, looking at each other at what to say. And that's when Ace brought out the cover, "just guy stuff."

That night, we all went out to the movies like a normal couple (and their third wheel) would. However, my paranoia was already planted. Then again, I'm a bit glad I kept my eyes open, because it would come in handy a few weeks later.

I kept my eyes open, in case he showed up.

But again, that's a story for another day.