However, our conversation also sparked a bit of curiosity with me. I left the island, leaving everything that essentially made me happy behind. I never once considered if there would have been anything good enough to make me stay. And even though it's too late for that, I decided to give it a shot. I asked him to see if he could mention me and find out what shot (if any) would I also have as a potential teacher at that school.
I don't why, but I'm starting to think that I'm just trying to find a job good enough to pull me back home. South west Pennsylvania has so far been a wasteland for me. Haven't found anything yet. All I have is work and nothing else, so I've had my ups and downs lately. Not just that, its given me a lot of time to think.
A LOT! You would be surprised how annoying it is to listen to the dark corners of your mind at 10:47am while you're folding size 58 jeans.
And while I doubt that I will get the job, I guess I'm trying to find out if there really was anything back home I could have done for a living. I got a lot of people who want me back, but I know it's a futile effort unless I got a way to make a living. So while a long shot, I'm shooting for the job. Most of all, I want to convince myself that this move was for the best.
I'm not sure, but I think this post was more serious than I intended it to be. Oh well, gotta mix a bit of seriousness between all that humor, I suppose. I think that's what makes us credible. And with that, I came up with something worth thinking about:
Sometimes, we try foolish things or seem like we are in way over our heads. However, sometimes it's all we need to get us through the day. And if we somehow manage to succeed, then it was worth it. If not, then it was worth trying.
It never hurts having as many pokers in the fire as possible. I hope you get that job back home, if that's what you want. We owe it to ourselves to try and be happy.
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