Playground Cage Match

So while this story is actually something I've done as a kid, it was one of those memories I kinda blocked out as a kid (along with most of the 90's). JC and I were kinda reminiscing about the good stuff from 1996. And somewhere along the way, he mentioned the one fight I sorta had in elementary school.

Not the Cage Match I had imagined.

Now, I thought he was just pulling my leg and making it up. And yet, this actually happened.

I was apparently in a fight with some kid from school, so we went to the playground to solve our differences. Problem was, my mind and reality had different views of what was going on. We went to the jungle gym to solve our differences, because apparently I wanted a cage match. So of course, all the kids surrounded the place to see the school nerd get his ass kicked.

However, there was no ass kicking. Rather, there was an endless supply of laughter. I don't know why, but out of all the things I could have come up with from the entire pro wrestling arsenal, I decided to go with the Sleeper Hold. Why didn't I just realize I was a little in over my head at this point? And also, what kind of kid calls out for a cage match in the fourth grade?

Probably me.

So I tried to give the kid my best sleeper hold and defend my honor as the bottom of the food chain. However, from what JC tells me, my sleeper hold looked more like a cheap attempt at overwhelming my opponent with an arsenal of hugs and tenderness. He kept laughing as he told me the part about the hugs. It was then that I realized I was trying to adapt my own bad attempt at a wrestling move.

The end result wasn't quite what I expected.

I don't know what else happened that day, but I bet it wasn't good.

Stories like that are no wonder why many of my childhood memories are repressed. Then again, it must have been pretty hilarious. I'm wondering what other embarrassing stories from my childhood JC has for me.