Random Conversations #3: Redneck Phone Call

This little conversation was an odd one. It took place a few days ago at work when a customer called in to the store to check a few things. Instantly when I picked up and told my name, he didn't understand it. So of course, I had to give him a different version. But it wasn't until he spoke that I had a feeling where this was going...

Sounded just like him, but only this one could barely make sense.

Me: What can I help you with today?

Customer: Well, I got some pants.

Me: Ok. What happened with the pants?

Customer: They don't fit. My ass don't fit in these pants!

Me: So you want to return them or just exchange for another size?

Customer: They don't fit my ass!

Me: Ok

Customer: Can I return them?

Me: Of course. Just as long as you have the receipt and the tag, you should be fine.

Customer: The what?

Me: Receipt and tag.

Customer: Tag? It aint got no tag! I put it on and it don't fit my ass!

 Me: Well, just bring it here with the receipt and you should be fine.

He hung up after finally understanding, but I could barely understand him during the entire conversation. So out of this conversation, there was probably lost dialogue somewhere amongst his redneck jibber jabber. I blame the phone line for being so unclear. Either way, it was rather hilarious!